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Transform this “telling” version of story about a baseball hit into a “showing” version.
I missed the ball again. It was my second strike. Disappointed, I stepped away and swung the bat back and forth. All I wanted was a hit. I went back to the plate. I was a little nervous. My heart beat fast. I put the bat over my shoulder and waited. The pitcher threw the ball. It came toward me really fast and I swung. I hit it! I dropped the bat and ran to first base. I was safe.
Remember the four hints to “Show and not tell”.
- Use dialogue
- Use sensory language
- Be descriptive
- Be specific, not vague
Post your “showing” paragraph
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