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Transform this “telling” version of story about a baseball hit into a “showing” version.

I missed the ball again. It was my second strike. Disappointed, I stepped away and swung the bat back and forth. All I wanted was a hit. I went back to the plate. I was a little nervous. My heart beat fast. I put the bat over my shoulder and waited. The pitcher threw the ball. It came toward me really fast and I swung. I hit it! I dropped the bat and ran to first base. I was safe.

Remember the four hints to “Show and not tell”.

  1. Use dialogue
  2. Use sensory language
  3. Be descriptive
  4. Be specific, not vague

Post your “showing” paragraph

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